Hope Mommies

Just wanted to celebrate with my friend, Erin, who just welcomed her beautiful son Malacai into the world this weekend. We celebrate him incredibly, as we also continue to celebrate the short but powerful life of his older sister, Gwendolyn.

Erin, Blair, and baby Malacai

Blair & Erin are an incredible couple who love the Lord and love people.  And talk about two people who took the hardest thing in life and allowed the Lord to fashion a pearl for the world...a pearl that was never in the original plan, from the beginning of time until now. I am writing about them because I believe their story can help others. You can read about Gwendolyn's full story here, as well as perusing the rest of her blog that details the journey to sweet little Malacai.

Death is hard enough to stomach, but losing an infant has got to be the most indescribable grief one could experience. I know nothing about it personally, but I know firsthand that losing a parent caused many a 'pull-the-car-over-and-cry-until-snot-comes-out' episodes; these episodes often triggered by the number of songs, places, or memories we create with those we love.

But to lose the life-that-hasn't-been-lived-yet is altogether a different story in my opinion. I've always said grief is like a roller coaster that you never really exit...just endure until your body kind of regains a weird equilibrium in order to deal with wanting to die because of the gaping hole in your heart.

I have had several friends who have lost children...some early in the pregnancy, some right before birth, some during delivery. No matter when or how it happened, it always strikes a chord in my heart of questioning God. "How could you let this happen?" is usually my first thought.

We don't have answers for any tragedy (in fact, the more answers I seek, the more the questions pop up). That's just it. Like blessings, tragedy has no formula; no secret code to learn to ensure you can avoid it. It's what we do with tragedy that determines how we live. And I am adamant that no one can dictate that for you. No one. No one has the right to tell you when, how, or how long to grieve. I don't care how many 'steps' there are in the grief cycle...it's YOUR grief cycle. You decide.

I just wanted to share in my dear friends' joy this weekend...and also to honor Gwendolyn's life. The heart of a person can never be snuffed out, even when their body leaves the earth.

Erin is a writer and uses her words as an outlet to grieve and heal. While doing so, she began to see how her grief & hope in Christ could help other moms who had lost children. She started Hope Mommies as a way to 'bring the Hope of Christ to bereaved mothers and families experiencing infant loss.' What a beautiful testimony of God taking her tragedy and creating beauty from ashes.

I love you, Erin. And to my other friends who have experienced infant loss, I love you dearly and I wish I had more than my prayers to help you heal.

Princess and the Peacock: Conversational Narcissism

Hello...I'm Katie, and I'm an Active Conversational Narcissist. 

"Hi, Katie."

Ok, before all the "Man, she finally just figured this out?" thoughts start rolling around, shut it down. I've been aware of the 'problem' for a while--let me explain a little about where this post is coming from.

I am supposed to meet this Peacock (Huh? Read here...I'll wait.) It is a semi-blind date (I've seen a pic) and I was okay until I realized that I LOATHE talking to strangers. Silence is like death to me, and I find myself babbling and telling stories just to fill the awkward space between the two of us. 

So, I'll say that I don't INTEND to dominate conversation. I promise. Maybe it stems from growing up with a huge family of humorous, loud, storytelling men...maybe it is because I'm a selfish, blog-writing American. I dunno. But, I truly struggle to chit chat with strangers and find myself exhausted after an event with people I don't know and love already. And like me, most people struggle to ask thoughtful, engaging, conversation-flowing questions. I know my extended family and I absolutely failed this life quiz. 

My cousin once did a little experiment without telling us. At a family gathering, she decided to wait to speak until she was asked a question...she was silent for 2 days. In fact, she broke the silence out of frustration--not because we had finally asked her a question! To be fair, my family has an understanding...a way of interacting & flowing. But I've realized that the rest of the world does not flow in this way AT ALL. 

Because of this blind date Peacock situation, I ran across a blog post from a blog I love--but probably shouldn't--because I'm not a dude. But I do love it. The Art of Manliness is a blog dedicated to all things bro, with a desire to revive the lost art of manliness. As a single gal, I dig it. Bigtime. {And not just for the cute little moo-stache on the header, but also for the 'how to do more than one stinking pull up' post. I feel kinda manly admitting that I have a pull up bar.}

The post I'm referring to discusses how to spot a Conversational Narcissist and how to master the art of conversation, summarized from this book. I think this post is a must read for Peacocks & Princesses alike. We could all stand to learn from this and I hope it will take away my 'hella-nervous-about-to-break-out-into-word-vomit-slash-Irish-storytelling' tendency.

So, how about you? Are you able to interact with strangers well? How do you best keep conversational ebb and flow? (See? This is me trying to offer a support-response. Crap. I just shifted it back to me.) 

Oh well, wish me luck with the unknown Peacock. As you can see, I definitely need it.

Debt Snowball: That's how I roll...

What's this, you ask? Don't get too attached...I sure didn't. I took it straight from one bank and plunked it down at another one. Dave Ramsey style. This week, MajD 1/3 was paid in full and I can already feel the shackles loosening a bit. It is a huge deal for me and I just wanted to share it with the people who care enough about me to read my ramblings. :) 

And don't worry, I didn't do anything shady for this chunk o' change {well, unless you are one of those people who thinks teaching, spray tans, or MLM is shady; in that case, you can judge me all you want. I'll be too busy paying bills to even notice your disdain.} I just worked the Debt Snowball that Dave Ramsey talks about in Total Money Makeover. 

At first, it seems illogical to pay off the smallest debt first (sadly, my 'smallest' wasn't too small), but he is spot on when it comes to psychology. Because, although this debt's interest rate is higher than my student loans, walking in and paying it off gave me the taste of freedom. And my snowball starts to grow and pick up speed. So, one MajD down, 2 more to go. On to the next!

I have found the best way for me to radically stick to becoming debt-free is automatic withdrawal from my paycheck to a bank payment, before I even touch/smell/plot & plan for the green. Any other creative ways you've found to pay off your debt?

Princess and the Paycheck: Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?!

*Holds imaginary microphone* Is this thing on??

Wow, 5 months to the day of my last post. Do I still have any readers out there?? I will start by saying, 'hello there. nice to see you again.' Your response may {hopefully} be, 'wow. 5 months...where have you been, Katie?'

Well, I'll start by telling you what I have NOT been doing while staying eerily silent this past Fall:

-vacationing in Fiji

-resting on my laurels

-in a whirlwind romance

-cleaning my house

-organizing my life

-relaxing of any kind

This Fall has been an amazing and very tiring one...and I've got lots to say about it! So, until more posts come with details, here is the gist of what I've been up to. I knew it was time to blog again when my busy sister said she wondered where I had been on the blogosphere (she rarely has time to read my posts when I post them, and then she catches up by reading them all in one sitting). So when my Princissy is all caught up on blogs, I'm def behind! Here's what I've been up to:

-Helping with my sister's wedding plans & DIY projects; she was an incredible planner & I just helped her make some of it happen {more to come on some of those projects--hopefully not in 5 more months. Ha!}

-Helping with my best friend's wedding in Orlando over the break; she, too, did incredible things and I helped her a bit in the final stages to pull some stuff together {more details later, of course!}

-I got bangs! Ok, that didn't take any work, but there it is.

-Teaching first graders how to read--for some reason, I've had a harder time with my attitude this year, so it has taken more energy than normal

-Arbonne Consultant--I have advanced to the second level of the company and trying to work hard at this second job to pay off my debts. The job is simple, but it ain't easy. VERY rewarding work, however. 

-Bronzage--Last year, I started a mobile airbrush tanning business to help with debt, but never REALLY started. This summer, I registered it with the state as a business, and have officially 'launched'.

All this to say: 'She works hard for the money!'      {I've always associated that song with strippers, but as it turns out, it is about a bathroom attendant. Ooops. Why I went there, I don't know.}

I am working tirelessly to pay off a lot of debt {student loans, dental & medical debt, and a few other dumb purchases when dumb credit card companies gave a broke teenager plastic money}. I have been paying it off for 15 years and I'm tired of it. I got all gazelle-intense about it (as Dave Ramsey would say) and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. This month, thanks to 3 jobs, I will pay off Major Debt #1 out of 3.  I have been paying MajD 1/3 for at least 8 years, but transferred it to a bank loan and have been paying them since 2008. I can't wait to march into DATCU with that final payment in a week! Like I said: light.at.end.of.tunnel. Here I come!

It only took me 7 years...

I'm no computer simpleton, but I tell you, some of the 'easiest' things for others are VUURY difficult for me. Well, I just tackled one such thing. Like, I tackled it, wrestled it to the ground, and pwned it.

Thanks to 7 years of ambition (and fear!), one google search, 10 minutes, and some trial and error, I finally transferred my domain name so that you can type in the blog address WITHOUT 'blogspot' attached to it. Whaaaat?! Yes.

I know, I know. This may be dumb to you, but this little irksome bit has been a real downer since I started my blog; a constant reminder that I struggle to carry through with goals/visions I have when they feel fraught with obstacles. Maybe I am making it more than it is, but this was a huge success for me (and if you know me, you get what I'm saying. Maybe you even clicked your heels for me just then. Too much?)

Basically, I'm excited because I just downgraded this mountain back to a molehill...

Celebrate with me & share this-->www.princessandthe-p.com with a friend! Now that the glorious summer of driving is over {more on that later}, I'll try to write more frequently.

If only I could get the pet bed girl to realize that she doesn't need to renew princessandthep.com, I could lose that darn hyphen! (Though it IS kind of growing on me. If I get rid of it, people might wonder who 'Thep' is, and why he's with Princess.)