{T.I.L. #14: Valentine's Edition}

Well, well, well...it's the day of love. I just came back from the wedding of one of my best guy friends and it was in the most adorable white chapel with chippy wood and layered whites. {I've got some pikkies to show for another day.} What a great way to celebrate Valentine's Day!

And tonight I'm going to see Mr. Darcy fight off some bad guys while looking dapper.as.hell in Kingsman. Can't wait.

Since I gave Mr. Darcy, the peacock of all peacocks, the nod last year on V-day, I thought I'd give the runner-up title to my next favorite leading male in Jane Austen's world:

{T.I.L. #12}

So, newsflash, I'm single. I have lots of wonderful married friends who are trying to think of that one peacock they overlooked when trying to set me up. 

The lawn guy? No, he's only 21. And possibly a womanizer. 

That cute nerd at the tech conference? He's perfect. And Buddhist.

What about that one guy we met at the Bar-be-que last summer? Oh, he's getting married next month. Ooops.

That's pretty much how these conversations go and I love that my friends and family are trying to hook a girl up. Sometimes these failed setups lead to a dead end and SOMETIMES they lead to a guy who writes my new favorite blog. 

My brother-in-law knew of this guy through a friend and suggested he set me up. Groan. I'm pretty sure he's not my type. I'll just do like any normal girl in the year 2015 and Facestalk him look for his picture on Facebook. Score! I found him. Oh, man, he has videos...double score. A blog? Now, this is getting good. 

I go to his blog for fun because this guy can't be serious. He looks super interesting but most boys with blogs are suspicious. It took like 3 posts for me to decide that I need to know this person. Like, yesterday.

I laughed so hard at Dear Future Wife and then I showed my sister who also found the blog hilare. Then I saw the far-off, dreamy look in her eye as she wondered how she was going to hold my future babies I have with him when I move so far away to his hometown. "I'm sure we'll make it work," she decides silently. 

We agree that I have to be set up with this guy. I love Taylor Swift & Chipotle. I hate Nickelback and stick-figure families on car windows. It's like a match made in heaven. 

Except...we find out he doesn't want to be set up with anyone long distance. Or maybe he Facestalked me found MY blog and decided I was too cray to become 'Dear Current Wife'. 

Oh, well. It was all good while it lasted. But seriously, read this blog. It's pretty much awesome.

Get the Guy?

"You seem different...like you are more confident than before," said one of my best guy friends as we were hanging out recently. This may seem like it's not a big deal to you, but it is for me. You see, there are several reasons why this made me grin from ear to ear.

For starters, I've been told by friends that I'm a pretty easy-going, charismatic, jovial kind of person. I tend to agree...untiiiiiillll an attractive boy enters my 'awkward' radius. I seem to turn absolutely robotic. If you don't believe me, ask some of these friends of mine. They've witnessed the brain-mouth delay firsthand. I recently answered a flirty guy with something that sounded like this:

This particular guy friend I was hanging out with is someone who knows me very well and has seen me at my absolute worst/awkward times. Because of this closeness, he also knows the different boys I've liked and flirted with (I use that term loosely); he has graciously given me words to say so that I don't sound like a doofus. Ooops. I might've failed that test though.

To be honest, I've even turned the tables on this same guy friend and tried to DTR with HIM! {I kinda hope he's not reading my blog...I guess it wouldn't matter because although he's darling, we're totes in the friend-zone.} Regardless of where we stand, I was so excited that he noticed a genuine change in me. I'd love to say it's because I'd taken some risks with my hair or started dating someone but it wasn't. I'm going to let you in on the secret to my new confidence...

Matthew Hussey.

Wait! I thought you said it wasn't because you started dating someone. Well, that's true. It's a dude I found on YouTube. I'm totally serious. I've been watching his videos over the last year and I hinted to his program a bit during goal #2 in this post.

When I started watching him and his 3 minute nuggets of wisdom, I wasn't totally sold. His advice kind of flies in the face of what I've always been told. Then I realized that what I've always been told is a load of poop. I started taking his advice and trying it out, bit by bit, until it came more naturally. I've still got a looonnng way to go overall (have you forgotten the above clip of the camel doing Peter Griffin's laugh? I haven't.) but man, I feel like a different person when it comes to confidence around cute peacocks.
 
When I hopped aboard the Matthew Hussey love-guru-train I had no idea he was about to become a wee bit famous. He's now one of the relationship experts on NBC's Ready for Love and he's just released his book Get the Guy!

I mean, even Eva Longoria read his brand new book and called him "a genius who has cracked the code on men and relationships".

He's blowing up! And I knew him way back when...haha. But in all seriousness, he created a system to get women a date with the guy they want within 30 days, and then keep him! It gives you the behind the scenes secrets to how men think, and how to have your ideal guy chasing you for a relationship. He's done events for over 50,000 women (and I'm going to one in Dallas! Keep reading if you wanna come with...)

Here's Matt talking about the attraction formula:

And here's a Q&A at one of his live events:

The good news is that I've bought the book and I nabbed an extra to give away to one of you! But that's not even the best news...since I'm so tight with Matthew's people (you see what I did there?), I've secured 30 special guest tickets to his live tour. I'm not kidding. {Married peeps--don't run away yet! You keep reading too...}

He's going to be holding his talks in San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, NYC, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Toronto, Chicago, and Dallas. I'm heading to the Dallas event on May 11th. You can view other dates here. 

You wanna ticket to the live event? Easy peasy:

Just grab a PRINT copy of Matt's book from Amazon. That's it. (kindle/ebook orders won't count towards getting your free tour ticket, so make sure it's the print edition you order).

Once you've made your purchase, email your receipt to me and I'll get your place confirmed. Woohoo. I've only got 30 spots, so get crackin'!

>>>Get the book
 
**And if you are married and made it through this post, I hereby declare it your duty to forward this blog post to a single gal you know! Or better yet, buy it for her and get.her.to.this.seminar.

Trust me...if Katie, the Princess of the Awkward, can start to show some real confidence, then you know this dude's advice is legit! E-mail me that receipt and if you can't buy a book right now, that's ok...still comment or e-mail that you are interested so I can give one away!

T.I.L.#4: Valentine's Edition

It's Valentine's Day and I can't think of a more appropriate post than to say...

And by that admission, I mean this Darcy:










Not this one:

I guess it should be more about Mr. Darcy's character and growth, not on the particular actor but c'mon! You can't watch the 5 hour A&E version of Pride and Prejudice and not come away with a Colin Crush (I read that sentence like 6 times and I'm still not sure I said it correctly. But you get it...watch movie. Crush happens.) Unless you are a guy. Even then, it'd be a man crush.

So, fellas (not that I truly think there are any eligible bachelors reading this), if you are wanting to date me, please consider P&P an important instruction manual to win my heart. Here are my reasons for loving Mr. Darcy:

1. He's snooty but teachable--therefore, his character grows as he humbles himself
2. He doesn't start out with great manners but practices them because it's important
3. He dances to be close to a girl even though he hates it 
4. He doesn't trifle with silly gossip girls
5. He likes a spunky, independent woman and offers love, protection, and provision

So basically, he ain't perfect. But he'll admit it and learn. Yum. There's so much more to this character, but you get the idea. And before you say 'he's fictional!' please be mindful that I've met guys like Mr. Darcy. Yep, they are showering their women with love right now as we speak. I will only give you the 'it's fiction' excuse when the main squeeze sparkles in sunlight and doesn't have a heartbeat. 

Single peacocks, I'm now taking applications.

loved and lost

lonely in a crowd
lonely on the street
lonely without you
holding onto me
 
wishing you’d come back
wishing you could see
wishing you would realize
you didn’t set me free
 
trying to move on
trying to forget
trying to find new love
that won’t end in regret

 
Ps. This is dedicated to those asking, “IS it better to have loved and lost...?”

Pps. If you haven't gone to see Silver Linings Playbook, go see it. Beautifully realistic.

Princess and the Poem

to be single
to live a life of waiting
wondering
hoping
dreaming
restraining
         killing
               desires
smiling
clenched teeth and true heart
congratulations on your new baby
pounding blood
eyes sting
nose tickle
yes I know it’ll happen for me too
doubting
dreaming
hoping
wishing
to be married
to live a life others complain about
   so I can complain too



*Disclaimer: This poem was written to represent a snapshot of emotion, is not altogether personal (though I feel it aplenty) & is not an indicator that I live in a continual state of judgey-ness or despair. Thought is was worth a mention so that, in the event of my death, people don't try to dissect my sadness like we did in our Freshman English poetry unit.

Life As It Is

You may remember the post I wrote about my 4 Simple Goals back in October. I tried to make it easy for you, as it the last thing that I wrote on this darn blog. Yes, um, that was totally intentional.

Apparently for me, 4 Simple Goals are about as simple as putting together Ikea furniture without their picto-directions. I tried really hard, but didn't *quite* accomplish the 4 simple goals as I'd hoped. But isn't that life?? I'll get to that in a minute...

<--Did I follow in my grandmother's footsteps and get back into dance? 

Not exactly and kind of. I called a ballet studio that specializes in adult classes and it was $90 a MONTH for 4 classes. Whaaa? I think I could hire a personal ballerina to come to my living room for that price! So I decided to go to the open ballroom dance first and just do my Bar Method DVDs for ballet until I get stronger...

Ballroom route you say? Thwarted!! The reason relates to Goal #3 in a way so I'll get to that as well. I did, however, figure out that I would like to take lessons again as I did in college as it facilitates not only the skill but the outlet. I'm contacting Arthur Murray dance studio this week to schedule my 'test' dance lesson for placement. So Goal #1: semi-check?

On to Goal #2. Was it weird to include a nebulous goal about boys? At first, I wasn't sure about this one as I didn't make it very specific. However, as I thought about it, the specifics of how to confront this 'problem' came to me. Like I said, I expect guys to traverse the globe to ask for my number and I don't make it very obvious that I even want them to. I mean, there's a reason why I've named them Peacocks. I'm not really sure where this boy-wall stems from, but I have a feeling that it is related to modern, southern Christianity's views on men, women, and dating. I've been to enough "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" workshops to never date again and I routinely confuse God's desires for us with Man's ideas about what that looks like.

Enter Matthew Hussey, the love guru. What a doll. I was watching a few of his YouTube videos after a confusing date. {Don't you love us ladies? Gotta debrief and analyze!} I liked what he had to say about guys and girls and it was contrary to what I'd absorbed and made law in my life. I took one of his online programs and it COMPLETELY changed how I view guys! Who knew that all it would take was a guy with a British accent giving me dating advice? I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've done a 180 & I am excited to continue to implement the things I learned in the program. In fact, I've already started with amazing results! I'll update this area when there is more to tell...

So, goal #2: Check with a little bit of Flirt thrown in!
Moving along to Goal #3 and how it helped cripple Goal #1. My goal was to complete the Couch to 5K program in 8 weeks and be a running goddess by December. I was even going to take my sweet doglet with me. What went wrong?

Due to the anatomy of my feet in tennis shoes, I get stress fractures in my mid-foot when I do anything too strenuous. I've had about 4 of them in my adult life and if I don't rest when I get one, it causes a neuroma in my foot (basically like an ice pick feeling when I walk due to nerve inflammation). Happy day, huh?

As you can see, this problem lends itself to lots o' laziness in the exercise department. But I was determined. I had started wearing minimalist shoes and it had been loads better! I downloaded the C25K app (awesome app for this, BTW), turned on my Coldplay album and started going to town. Week One was incredible (I didn't die, yay!) and in the middle of Week Two, the pain started. I have rested it for the last 6 weeks, postponed dancing (see goal #1) and am now ready to start again. Only this time, I will need to go EVEN slower than a couch potato apparently. I plan to walk daily for a month before starting the program again. I will also be adapting the program by following my own heart rate while using their basic setup.  Soleil was disappointed (I'm sure of it!) but 'what's another month, sad eyes?' is what I'll likely tell her.

Goal #3: A "'slow is sexy' so we'll stay updated on this goal" check

Last but not least, the final oh-so-simple goal: Take more risks. One thing I've learned about this experiment in bite-size goals is that they need to be just that: bite-sized. Specific. I made a few notes about how I could take risks but I didn't set out with a plan. I've taken some risks for sure (more on that in the coming weeks!) but overall, I'd like a re-do on this goal. I'd make it more clear this time: 
 Dye my hair dark black! 
      Take voice lessons!
           Ask a boy on a date!             
               Submit my writing to a publisher!

These are specific goals about taking risks. I've got another post in mind for these, so stay tuned. But I'd still have to say...

Goal #4: "Vague but accomplished" check!

After all of this experimenting with 4 Simple Goals, I found that I really liked it. It held me accountable and kept my priorities in check. I am going to continue with goals in the New Year but I do think there is a valuable lesson for me in these last 2 months. As much as we plan and scheme, life happens. While you can't always control what happens, you can control your reaction to it. My motto for 2013 is to 'live life as it is' not how I want it to be. Of course, more on this motto as we ring in 2013. Happy New Year everyone!

4 Simple Goals

After reading this post from a blog I love called A Beautiful Mess, I decided to play along. This blog is great because it covers so many areas of life. I am also partial to it because it is written by two creative sisters and I happen to have an incredible sister myself {if only she and I could work together. man, what an awesome job.} Anyways, how cute are they?

I often get overwhelmed by life and work and making/reaching goals, but I thought the challenge to write '4 Simple Goals' might be right up my alley. Because on any given day, I could sing "I'm too lazy for my goals" (while borrowing the tune from these guys) to describe myself.

So, I'm gonna do it. I will post mine in picture form because that's how I think. I'm pretty visual, so maybe they'll stick better that way? *fingers crossed* Time will tell, folks. Time.will.tell.

Here you go if you want to keep me accountable. I'll post back on

 'the P' to report how I've done before 2013 rolls in. Update here.

I have had several opportunities to dance like I used to (swing, Country Western, ballet, hip hop, ballroom, flamenco) but I have chickened out lately. I'm not really sure why (well, I guess because I'm afraid I've lost all dance ability and will look like a complete fool!) But, I'm going to just try SOMETHING before the year is up. Here's to hoping it's like riding a bike. Only with a sweaty partner. And using every muscle in your body. On your tippy toes. Eeek.

I'm a hopeless romantic. I believe a boy should stop traffic to tell me I'm beautiful or ask for my number. Only that's kinda unrealistic I'm finding out. Oops. Thanks a lot, rom-coms and Twilight (Edward LITERALLY stopped traffic. But he also sparkles in the sun, so....back to my aforementioned goal #2). Since there are no Mr. Darcys, Mr. Knightleys or sparkly vampires inhaling me in science class, I guess I need to be more open to how modern men actually behave.

I have always hated walking and running but I know it is good for you and I want to love it. Or maybe just LIKE it. Plus, I want to participate in a race when friends get together for a Turkey Trot or a Reindeer Romp or a Cupid Shuffle (I think that's a dance, not a race. In either case, I'm still in: see Goal #1).

You ever notice how many people can just join a 5K race on any given weekend? "Hey, I think I'm gonna go do a mud run on Saturday after my spin class." What?! I honestly have to talk myself out of using a motorized cart at the grocery store after a long week of work. But no more. I want to stop disappointing my dog every night (seriously, look at that face! She does that EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. while simultaneously glancing at her leash.) I'm using the 8-week C25K app on my iphone to help me keep track. If only it supplied the energy...

Friends who know me have heard me use the phrase, "I'm saying 'yes' to life!" It's super cheesy, but it is what I have to do. My default answer has been 'hell to the no' when it involves risk-taking or stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm over that. That life is safe but boring. I have a lot of passion and creativity and I'm not afraid to use it. Ok, yes I am. But I'm ready to take some chances before 2013!

That's it! I'll update if & when I start meeting these 4 Simple Goals. Feel free to comment about your own 4 Simple Goals or leave a link to your blog/Facebook/Twitter/other cool social media tool I'm probably not using...I'd love to see who else (besides me!) needs a kick in the pants for the rest of 2012.

Princess and the Peacock: Conversational Narcissism

Hello...I'm Katie, and I'm an Active Conversational Narcissist. 

"Hi, Katie."

Ok, before all the "Man, she finally just figured this out?" thoughts start rolling around, shut it down. I've been aware of the 'problem' for a while--let me explain a little about where this post is coming from.

I am supposed to meet this Peacock (Huh? Read here...I'll wait.) It is a semi-blind date (I've seen a pic) and I was okay until I realized that I LOATHE talking to strangers. Silence is like death to me, and I find myself babbling and telling stories just to fill the awkward space between the two of us. 

So, I'll say that I don't INTEND to dominate conversation. I promise. Maybe it stems from growing up with a huge family of humorous, loud, storytelling men...maybe it is because I'm a selfish, blog-writing American. I dunno. But, I truly struggle to chit chat with strangers and find myself exhausted after an event with people I don't know and love already. And like me, most people struggle to ask thoughtful, engaging, conversation-flowing questions. I know my extended family and I absolutely failed this life quiz. 

My cousin once did a little experiment without telling us. At a family gathering, she decided to wait to speak until she was asked a question...she was silent for 2 days. In fact, she broke the silence out of frustration--not because we had finally asked her a question! To be fair, my family has an understanding...a way of interacting & flowing. But I've realized that the rest of the world does not flow in this way AT ALL. 

Because of this blind date Peacock situation, I ran across a blog post from a blog I love--but probably shouldn't--because I'm not a dude. But I do love it. The Art of Manliness is a blog dedicated to all things bro, with a desire to revive the lost art of manliness. As a single gal, I dig it. Bigtime. {And not just for the cute little moo-stache on the header, but also for the 'how to do more than one stinking pull up' post. I feel kinda manly admitting that I have a pull up bar.}

The post I'm referring to discusses how to spot a Conversational Narcissist and how to master the art of conversation, summarized from this book. I think this post is a must read for Peacocks & Princesses alike. We could all stand to learn from this and I hope it will take away my 'hella-nervous-about-to-break-out-into-word-vomit-slash-Irish-storytelling' tendency.

So, how about you? Are you able to interact with strangers well? How do you best keep conversational ebb and flow? (See? This is me trying to offer a support-response. Crap. I just shifted it back to me.) 

Oh well, wish me luck with the unknown Peacock. As you can see, I definitely need it.