2.11.2012

Princess and the Peacock: Conversational Narcissism

Hello...I'm Katie, and I'm an Active Conversational Narcissist. 

"Hi, Katie."

Ok, before all the "Man, she finally just figured this out?" thoughts start rolling around, shut it down. I've been aware of the 'problem' for a while--let me explain a little about where this post is coming from.

I am supposed to meet this Peacock (Huh? Read here...I'll wait.) It is a semi-blind date (I've seen a pic) and I was okay until I realized that I LOATHE talking to strangers. Silence is like death to me, and I find myself babbling and telling stories just to fill the awkward space between the two of us. 

So, I'll say that I don't INTEND to dominate conversation. I promise. Maybe it stems from growing up with a huge family of humorous, loud, storytelling men...maybe it is because I'm a selfish, blog-writing American. I dunno. But, I truly struggle to chit chat with strangers and find myself exhausted after an event with people I don't know and love already. And like me, most people struggle to ask thoughtful, engaging, conversation-flowing questions. I know my extended family and I absolutely failed this life quiz. 

My cousin once did a little experiment without telling us. At a family gathering, she decided to wait to speak until she was asked a question...she was silent for 2 days. In fact, she broke the silence out of frustration--not because we had finally asked her a question! To be fair, my family has an understanding...a way of interacting & flowing. But I've realized that the rest of the world does not flow in this way AT ALL. 

Because of this blind date Peacock situation, I ran across a blog post from a blog I love--but probably shouldn't--because I'm not a dude. But I do love it. The Art of Manliness is a blog dedicated to all things bro, with a desire to revive the lost art of manliness. As a single gal, I dig it. Bigtime. {And not just for the cute little moo-stache on the header, but also for the 'how to do more than one stinking pull up' post. I feel kinda manly admitting that I have a pull up bar.}

The post I'm referring to discusses how to spot a Conversational Narcissist and how to master the art of conversation, summarized from this book. I think this post is a must read for Peacocks & Princesses alike. We could all stand to learn from this and I hope it will take away my 'hella-nervous-about-to-break-out-into-word-vomit-slash-Irish-storytelling' tendency.

So, how about you? Are you able to interact with strangers well? How do you best keep conversational ebb and flow? (See? This is me trying to offer a support-response. Crap. I just shifted it back to me.) 

Oh well, wish me luck with the unknown Peacock. As you can see, I definitely need it.