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| I mean, I found these in a parking space one time. C'mon people! Doesn't a blog post just spring to mind?! |
But then life happens and I don't. Or I sit down to write it and it seems silly to even put it into black & white.
I've been blogging for 10 years, y'all. 10.friggin.years. I don't think I've done anything (apart from teaching) for that long! And yet, for the past year or so, I was on my way to quitting. Not because I don't enjoy blogging, or writing, or telling stories...but because it felt pointless. 'Who is even reading these rando rambles?' I wondered. 'Isn't blogging stopping me from my REAL writing?' I said as an excuse. Well, when I took this blogging break, was I writing my book(s)? Snope.
So, after removing my tiny voice from the massive void that is the blogging world, I realized that I didn't feel better or get more done. You see, writing a blog seems dumb for those who don't need to write. And I listened to those critics. But for me, writing and telling stories feeds me in a way I can't describe. In fact, I didn't even know this about myself until I took it away. Though I haven't been the most regular blogger on the planet, I have in fact been doing this for a DECADE. I started blogging before people really even made money blogging (not that I ever have...ha!) because it was just a space to express and connect. I mean, I started blogging when we were all wearing these:
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| Just kidding...but weren't these awesome? |
I started feeling like my voice was useless and that's the dagger in the heart of a writer. Not only does it create writer's block, but it causes one to re-evaluate your very purpose. That sounds super dramatic, but it is true. If you feel like you HAVE to do something and then someone tells you not to bother with it, it can cause a bit of an emotional upheaval.
But over time, I've realized, 'Why do I care what the critics think?' I read people's books/blogs/writing/poetry to hear THEIR voice...see THEIR house...witness THEIR family and life. No one has the voice that you have. No one has MY voice (ok, I'll stop with the all caps. But imagine my fist pounding on the counter top though. I'm on a roll!)
In all sincerity, I had to come to a place where I write for me. If someone reads it and connects, wonderful! If someone buys the books I eventually write, fabulous! Don't get me wrong, I'd love to make a living writing, but that can't and shouldn't be the reason I do something. And it isn't the reason I started doing it. So, I'm returning back to my roots of good ol' 2004. Back when I used 'Brownie Bytes' (I know, right?) to tell people funny stories from my travel or my struggles as a single woman.
I don't need a platform or a niche. I don't need ad sales or google rankings. I need to express. So, with this freedom, I hope that others will read and relate. But that can't {and won't} be my motivation, as that invites measuring my impact. In my opinion, that separates writing for passion and writing as a business. And for me, that makes all the difference.
