As an exercise, I was asked to use my super sleuth observational skills regarding something difficult in my life. I've struggled with my very passionate, and at times, addictive 'personality' (though I'm not certain it's cemented as part of who we are; the Lord can make all things new.) But I'm often like a huge pendulum that operates on its extremes, 95% of the time. I decided to turn my self-reflective stream of consciousness into a poem, as I have always enjoyed writing poetry. I love the way you don't have to make complete sense or tie up any loose ends (not that I worry about that much when writing sentences, ha!) I love poetry's perfect imperfection: a complete thought can be conveyed without making it grammatically complete. So here's my shot at observing addiction; these thoughts stemmed from how an addict of any kind seems to mirror their addiction:
lying limp and lifeless on its edge
drained of its contents, remnants remain
drained of its contents, remnants remain
once holding sweetness, brimming with energy in its flow
no more
it gave of itself until it had nothing left, a shell empty and hollow
tossed sideways, covered up and forgotten
to be replaced by another just like it
one more, another, then another...no satisfaction gained
it’s almost as if its insides foster unsatiated appetite
the more you taste, the more you want
the closeness must be broken, severed
never to have another like it.
no more
it gave of itself until it had nothing left, a shell empty and hollow
tossed sideways, covered up and forgotten
to be replaced by another just like it
one more, another, then another...no satisfaction gained
it’s almost as if its insides foster unsatiated appetite
the more you taste, the more you want
the closeness must be broken, severed
never to have another like it.
Can you guess what I was observing? Click here for a pikkie representing one of my addictions (honestly, I'd probably be addicted to tree bark if I could get it in a drive thru!) Here's my prayer for all of us who struggle with addiction: May the Lord bring us to a place of relying solely on Him for comfort, balance, and life itself.
